Bam! Goldblumed! I hope you’re all paying attention now. Did you see that man fill that frame? Think you can do better? You. fucking. liar. Why the Goldblum, you ask (aside from the obvious)? Well, I was looking at my underused pair of black jeans this morning, thinking that they may just be too “metal” to ever see the light of day again. I run the buROCKracy blog now, and a man in my po-zish cannot afford to look ridiculous. I needed to find a use for these jeans. The obsidian denim craves my fuzzy thighs. Luckily, the jeans were hung directly next to a black button-down shirt I bought at target on Monday as part of Operation: Get Your Shit Together. Then I realized that I had the two principle elements of this:
The torch is the second hottest thing in this picture.
Yes, 17 years later, Dr. Ian Malcolm is a totally legitimate Halloween Costume idea. And yes, it is a strong possibility that I will be Dr. Ian Malcolm when the ghosts, ghouls, and sex offenders take to the streets 2 weeks from now. Now I know what you’re thinking:
“But Paul, you’re not tall or attractive or Jewish enough to look like Jeff Goldblum. Your chest-hair will just scare people and further alienate you from those trying desperately to save you from becoming the world’s first straight confirmed bachelor. Jesus Christ, step back from the brink of insanity!”
Wow… I can’t believe you thought all that. You’ve got some serious growing up to do. Besides, it’s either that or this…
Yes, Robin Williams, my brother in sasquatchery. All I’d need is glasses and a beret. I don’t know if qualifies as a costume. You be the judge!…you judgmental monsters.
Palate cleanser: there is another Dr. Ian Malcolm, and he is a real-life doctor, which will never be as awesome.
...though it's hard to picture this guy sitting in the back of a a Jurassic Park jeep and nailing the line "Must go faster".
Sweet threads, though.
I say go for Robin Williams AS Dr. Ian Malcolm